About four years ago I decided I
wanted to change myself; physically. So, I joined a gym; American Family
Fitness. I would take classes and use machines, but nothing really resonated
with me. I decided to try the latest fad, yoga. At first I hated it. I was not “good”
at it, it made me sweat while doing what I thought was little effort, and I
just didn't get all the hype. However, for some reason I kept going back. I
tried several different instructors until one day one really made me love the
class…”J”. His personality resonated with mine thus my ideas and views of yoga
changed. I became really interested in yoga and this interest has continued to
grow since. As it has grown yoga has become a way of life for me. It is no
longer something physical I do at the gym. It is how I think, how I act, how I
respond, it is in everything that I do, it is how I live my life. Yoga has
changed me. It has helped me to see life differently and appreciate life more.
It has helped me to heal myself, others, and my relationships with others. Yoga
has helped me discover who I am, what my purpose is, and whether my life is
aligned with this purpose and who I am.
Who
am I? I am someone who has so much love inside that I sometimes don’t know how
to deal with it. I am someone that has so much passion that I don’t know how to
effectively act with it. I am someone who hurts easily. I hurt for myself, for
others, for all. Sometimes I just hurt. I am someone who has changed a lot, but
has always hurt and loved just the same. I am someone who appreciates the immense
anger that I used to have; that I now know it comes from all this bottled up love.
I am someone who loves the bad in my past, sometimes more than the good. I am
someone who is learning every moment and learning to live in that moment, every
moment. I am someone who wants so desperately to give all of this love to
everyone. I am someone who loves everyone, even those I don’t know. I am
someone who cries over all of this and everything.
What
is my purpose? To Love! It is what I feel within the deepest and shallowest
parts of my being. It is what my heart is for. I wrote somewhere once before that
if I could be unzipped from head to toe that the only thing that would come out
is love because it is all that I am.
Am
I currently living a life aligned with my purpose? Not every day, not every
moment, but I try. I fall away, I slip up, I get lazy, and I make mistakes. I
often do not think or act out of love. I often do not speak out of love. I
often do not teach out of love. But I am working on it.
I
am taking my yoga teacher training to learn more about yoga. I want to be able to
take yoga to others and give them what has been given to me. My goal is to take
yoga off of my mat and into the lives of others.
I wasn't drawn to yoga on a spiritual quest. I thought I had that taken care of. I
came to it for physical reasons. The spiritual part came to me and found me. It
told me that through the control of my thoughts of life I could be a happier
person.
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